The Hero Dies in This One
by ghost katatat
Summary: "That's what everybody's been saying: You'll feel better and don't worry and this is all fine and it's not." Rachel Berry had her life all figured out, until it got turned upside down. Loosely based off of 50/50.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Glee, or any of the characters, though I wish I did. I also do not own 50/50. I am simply borrowing from them! **

Rachel Berry was never late.

In her entire four years at Boston Conservatory, and now her fifth year in the graduate musical theater program, she always made it a point to be as punctual as possible. Rachel knew how unprofessional it was to arrive at script read throughs or stage rehearsals long after they had started. It either made the director think you were a diva, or that you didn't take your craft seriously. Therefore, Rachel Berry was never, ever late to her classes or her rehearsals at the conservatory. She decided that her punctuality was helping her to prepare for her successful career on Broadway.

So, Rachel was never late. Until today, that is.

Rachel ran as fast as she could past the slow moving group of students belting out random lines from _Barber of Seville, _restraining herself from commenting on how sharp the notes were on the soprano parts. She dashed down the hallways, lined with actors reciting their same parts over and over. She trudged up the stairs, until finally Rachel swung open the door of the studio she was looking for.

Completely out of breath, Rachel began to burst out her apologies.

"I am so, so completely sorry, Ms. Fiore. My alarm clock must have been on a lower volume than I normally set, because I did not hear it at all this morning. This, of course, led me to waking up much later than I had planned. I know you must already know how seriously I take this class, and my career as a performer, so I hope you will not perceive this small incident as a-"

Ms. Fiore held up her hand, effectively putting an end to Rachel's speedy explanation.

"That is enough, Ms. Berry. If you are quite finished interrupting my class, will you please just take your spot."

"It was such an embarrassment, you have no idea!" Rachel exclaimed, standing in the lengthy line of the coffee store down the street from the conservatory.

"Yes, I'm sure your entire career as a performer is completely ruined," Santana replied dryly, anxiously looking up to see exactly how long the line was in front of her.

Rachel's face turned an entire two shades lighter, "Do you really think so?"

Santana rolled her eyes, "Oh my god, you are a complete drama queen."

"This isn't funny! This is the fifth time this week I've let sleep disrupt my normal schedule, and now it's effecting my rehearsals and school work, too," Rachel said.

Santana could tell how worried her friend was becoming, "Come on, Rachel, it's just one dance class, I'm sure Ms. Fancypants Fiore wouldn't mind you doing some extra credit or something to make up for your one little time lapse."

"It wasn't just that, San," Rachel replied, "I couldn't even participate, I was so exhausted by the time I arrived that I could barely move. I just stretched in the corner and had an 'observation period' as Ms. Fiore put it."

Now Santana was getting a little worried. "Jeez, maybe you just need more of a boost in the mornings."

"Why do you think I invited you to have coffee with me before class?" Rachel asked, pointing to the line in front of them.

"Speaking of which, I don't think this line is ever going to get any shorter, we're better off buying some crack off of that creepy Jacob Israel afro guy," Santana replied.

This finally got a small smirk out of Rachel, "I don't think he's on crack, San."

"Whatever, all I'm saying is that it'd be faster to get a little buzz on from some low blow druggie down in ghetto town than it would be waiting in this line," Santana said.

"Ha ha, like I would ever jeopardize my chances at stardom for a chance to get high," Rachel scoffed.

"Hey, don't knock it til you've-whoa, girl, are you feeling ok?" Santana held onto Rachel who was suddenly finding it hard to keep balance.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," Rachel responded, grasping Santana's arm, "I'm just suddenly finding it hard to stay awake."

Now Santana was getting really worried, this wasn't the first time she had seen her best friend so exhausted lately. Her roommate had been bitching a lot recently about being tired and how her legs would ache so much she could barely walk, let alone stage block anymore. "Hey, why don't you go back home and just sleep off the rest of the day?"

Rachel started whining, "But my classes-"

"I'll cover for you," Santana interrupted, "we have repertoire together in an hour, then I can talk to Mr. Caggiano on my way to script analysis."

"I don't know, San…" Rachel hesitated.

Santana raised Rachel's chin so her face was eye level. "Look, you're not going to look any better to your professors if you're just 'observing' during classes. Just take the day off, I'm sure even Patti LuPone had to call in sick a couple times from _Evita_ rehearsals."

Rachel still looked unsure, but couldn't forget the embarrassment of her morning dance class. "Yeah, yeah ok I'm just going to go home, maybe I'll give Sam a call."

"Sounds great, I will call and check in on you in a couple hours. I'll probably still be here, waiting to get my latte," Santana responded.

A few hours later, Rachel was nestled deep into her comforter on the couch, her feet propped up on her boyfriend, Sam Evans's, lap. There was a Meg Ryan romantic comedy marathon on the television, and they were currently in the middle of _When Harry Met Sally. _

Rachel diverted her eyes from the TV to look over at her boyfriend. She thought about how lucky she was to be with someone as caring as Sam, someone who would take his afternoon of strenuous law school classes off to look over his sickly girlfriend.

She had been with Sam for over four years now. They met at their high school in Lima, Ohio, where they were both in glee club together. They didn't exactly run in the same social circles back then-she was a theater geek, and he was a football jock-but they had had their moments in glee club. It was the one place where all of the members were free to be themselves, regardless of the high school status quo. They were a small, and not very well liked club at school, but they became a family.

It was glee club where Rachel had met Santana as well. To say that Santana Lopez had hated Rachel Berry would be an understatement. Santana absolutely despised Rachel in high school, and she made sure that Rachel knew it. Santana was the classic "skanky cheerleader bitch" of McKinley High, and she loved to prey on those that were different from what was supposed to be considered cool, which definitely included Rachel.

It wasn't until the very end of their senior year that Rachel figured out that the reason Santana tormented the outcasts so much was because she was actually an outcast herself.

Rachel, Santana and Sam were a part of the handful of people that actually got out of Lima, Ohio, and they were the only ones who ended up in Boston—Rachel and Santana both musical theater majors at Boston Conservatory, and Sam, who turned out to actually be very smart under his jock boy persona, began a pre law major at Boston University. Naturally, the three of them developed a bond. With Santana finally feeling completely free to be herself, she and Rachel became best friends, and now shared a cozy two bedroom apartment five minutes away from school.

Sam had admitted to Rachel how cute he had actually found her animal printed sweaters that she wore in high school, and how much he admired how she had led their glee club into a successful win at nationals. He loved to hear her sing as he strummed on his guitar, and after a few months away at college they were attached at the hip dating. They didn't have the exact picture perfect relationship—with her dramatic tendencies, and the stress his classes brought him—they had several break ups and make ups, but Rachel felt that it was the constant ups and downs that made them stronger as a couple.

"Do you think we will end up like them?" Rachel asked.

Sam broke his gaze away from the television. "Who?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Harry and Sally, two people who had started out on a completely different page in life, but ended up bound together with the same happy ending."

"I don't know, Rachy. Maybe so," Sam replied.

Rachel laughed and pushed playfully at Sam's cheek with her foot, "Are you even watching the movie?"

Sam gave her his trademark huge lipped smile, "Of course _I _am watching the movie, you're the one that's fallen asleep at least three times."

"I can't help it," Rachel said, "I've just been so tired lately, I don't understand it."

"Maybe it's all the work you've been putting in on that Gary guy's musical, it's his senior showcase, you don't need to be working harder than he is on it," Sam said.

"I know," Rachel replied, "but I'm not just tired, my whole body has just been aching for weeks now, it can't be one theater major's silly musical about how a heartless billionaire falls in love with his Russian maid causing all of this."

"The flu?" Sam suggested.

But Rachel had already considered that possibility, "I don't think that the flu is supposed to last almost a month, Sam."

"This is why I went pre-law instead of pre-med," Sam smiled, "you really just need to make time to go to the doctor, Rachel."

"Oh, you know how much I despise going to the doctor, Sam," she reminded, "I don't like being poked and prodded at, and hospitals just creep me out."

"Either you go to the doctor tomorrow, or I'm giving your dads a call," he warned.

That convinced Rachel in an instant.

Rachel couldn't help her foot bouncing up and down incessantly as she waited in the doctor's office for her test results.

Heeding her boyfriend's warning, she had arrived promptly the next morning at the Massachusetts General Hospital near her apartment. After impatiently waiting a full twenty five minutes, she was ushered into a room by a young nurse named Rosie. There, she met Dr. Graham, whom she explained her ordeal to in great detail.

The doctor, who could not seem to stop smiling as big as possible, didn't seem too concerned in figuring out what was wrong with Rachel.

"It sounds just like you are putting yourself under too much stress at school, Ms. Berry," she suggested, "but we will give you a full physical and take a blood test and figure out if there is something more specific going on here. Easy peasy!"

Rachel felt that this doctor was too light hearted to be in a place as dreary as a hospital.

It was the next day when Dr. Graham had called Rachel back into her office. The doctor had not sounded so "easy peasy" over the telephone, but Rachel wasn't too worried. She figured that she had some sort of virus that was going around the school or the city, and that Dr. Graham just wanted to prescribe her some sort of antibiotics.

Rachel was placed in the doctor's office instead of an examination room today.

Dr. Graham walked in, and could not immediately look Rachel in the eye.

"Good morning, Rachel. How are you feeling today?" she greeted.

"I'm feeling just the way that I've been feeling the past few months, Dr. Graham," Rachel responded.

The doctor only nodded; no smile, no expression at all in her eyes.

Butterflies started forming in Rachel's stomach.

"Did you figure out what was wrong with me?" Rachel began, and then the rambling started, "Are there some sort of drugs I should be taking? I've tried simply getting more sleep than necessary, but maybe it's causing my sleep cycle to go crazy. Caffeine hasn't been working, but maybe it's anemia? I looked it up on WebMD. That would explain why I have been feeling weaker, although the soreness in my legs-"

"Rachel," Dr. Graham stopped her, "your blood tests results came back earlier today."

Rachel was beginning to become annoyed with how little the doctor was telling her. "Well, what did the results say?"

Dr. Graham looked over at her computer. "I'm sorry. I am not behaving professionally at all. I am just awful with wording this sort of news to patients."

Now Rachel was not only annoyed, but the butterflies in her stomach were starting to become lodged in her throat.

"Just say it, Dr. Graham. Is it anemia, like WebMD said? Or the flu? Or some crazy blood disease? What is it?"

"It's none of that. Rachel…"

Rachel was beginning to panic.

"Rachel, you have leukemia."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I am so sorry, I meant to include this little note before my first chapter, but I completely forgot. This story is going to be slightly AU in the sense that everything from the television show is pretty much the same, except both Finn and Kurt didn't attend McKinley High School, and therefore weren't in Glee club, so Rachel has not met them..yet! They are still step brothers and will be included in the story very, very soon. **

**This is also definitely a Finchel story, but Finn isn't ready to show up just yet. But don't worry, he will be around in the next 2 or 3 chapters. So bear with the minor Samchel for now, it'll be worth it: :)**

**And lastly, I finally figured out how to add in those page breaks, so the story will be much more organized from now on. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or 50/50**

For the first time since Rachel spoke her first words at the bright young age of 3 months, she was at a complete loss for what to say.

She was utterly speechless as Dr. Graham chattered on about her treatment options, how chemotherapy will work, what she should expect in the next coming months.

She was utterly speechless as Dr. Graham continued to work in words of encouragement: "I have no doubt in my mind that you are going to beat this thing," and "many people who keep a positive attitude overcome cancer all the time."

She was utterly speechless as she seemed to have floated out of the office, and somehow made her way to the bus stop.

She was utterly speechless as the blurry residents of her apartment building offered her the normal smiles and standard greetings.

Nothing felt real at all to Rachel as she ignored the confused stare from Santana, made her way into her bedroom, closed the door and sank to the floor. The words "Rachel, you have leukemia" were playing over and over in her head.

For the first time Rachel was speechless, and for the first time suddenly nothing in her life made any sense.

* * *

><p>"I think I'm going to be sick."<p>

"Just breathe."

"I think I'm going to throw up."

"And you say I'm a drama queen."

It had been two days since Rachel learned the startling news about her health. Two whole days that she spent shut up in her room, trying to find the words to tell the people she loved, and then trying to actually say the words, to say any words about her circumstance at all.

Two whole days, 48 whole hours, and she still couldn't believe it. Rachel couldn't fathom how one check up at the doctor's could turn her world upside down.

Rachel came up with a plan for her life when she was six years old, after her very first day of the first grade. She had decided then that she was now becoming an adult, and so she needed a road map for how her life as a grown up would be.

The plan was simple, and didn't really change much since she was six. She would finish high school, go to a college that would showcase her musical talents, then move to New York and become a star on Broadway. Everything was the exact same, except she no longer planned on marrying Josh Hartnett.

Now everything felt so different. Nothing felt simple or easy. Rachel had no idea how she was supposed to fit THIS into her life plan. When would she be able to start auditioning for shows if she was too busy going to treatment? How would she ever find time to practice her vocal exercises if she felt sick all the time?

Her life had taken a complete 180 turn, and she had no idea how to plan for it at all.

Rachel had decided to tell Santana first, and she had picked their favorite coffee shop they had frequented over the years. She knew that Santana wouldn't want to make a scene in a public place, or at least that's what she thought.

"How are you being so calm about this?" Santana asked, finally catching her breath.

"Well, I've had a couple days to cope with it," Rachel replied, "and now I'm completely fine."

Santana's eyes widened, "A couple of days? You knew about this for a couple of days and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't tell anyone," Rachel said, "not even Sam knows yet."

Santana's gaze narrowed, "You haven't told Sam yet? Great, now I get to be around to see Trouty Mouth get all blubbery. He's gonna freak."

Rachel just shrugged.

"Well, what kind of cancer is it, exactly?" Santana asked.

"It's a type of leukemia, acute myeloid, or myelogenous. Something like that," Rachel responded, trying to remember the exact terminology the doctor had used.

Rachel swore that she saw Santana's expression darken for a second, before she quickly covered it up.

"Pfft, you know what, you're going to be fine," Santana breezed, "people get over this kind of thing all the time. That kid in our freshman class at McKinley we were always raising money for, he made a total recovery. Lance Armstrong got man cancer, and he's totally fine now, just biking away with all the Frenchies."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Yeah, but neither of them had leukemia, San."

"Well, it's a good thing you're, like, fifty times stronger than both of them combined," Santana responded, "and besides, you never, ever get sick. This should be a breeze."

"You really think so?" Rachel asked.

"I know so, you will be back to singing and bossing everyone around on stage in no time," Santana encouraged.

Rachel smiled, even though she knew neither of them were as sure of the words Santana was saying as they were letting on. But it was nice to think this way, instead of being back in her room, alone, and not being able to picture a way for this to end well at all.

* * *

><p>Rachel waited five whole minutes before she finally plucked up the courage to knock on the door of Sam's apartment.<p>

He greeted her with a look of surprise, which melted down to a welcoming smile as he opened the door wider to let her inside.

"Rachel, this is a surprise, did we have a date planned for tonight? Because I must have completely forgot, I made different plans with my study group to go over the cases Professor Brown assigned us. I wish I could back out, but we have this test next week that I'm totally freaking out over.."

Rachel let Sam ramble on, not totally listening to whatever excuses he was making, as she walked into his living room. She sat down on his worn leather couch, a hand me down gift from his parents' old house in Ohio, as she tried to figure how she was going to break the news to her boyfriend.

Sam finally caught on to how surprisingly quiet his girlfriend was being, "Ok, something must definitely be up if you are letting me talk for more than a minute straight."

Rachel's smile was small as she dryly responded, "Ha ha. Very funny."

Sam sat down next to her on the couch and grabbed her hand, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is exactly wrong," Rachel started.

Sam rolled his eyes, "Come on Rach, I've known you since we were seventeen years old, I think I can tell when something is bothering you. Usually it's because you're not one to be exactly subtle with your feelings…"

"Sam, I'm sick," Rachel interrupted.

Sam swallowed a large lump that suddenly filled his throat. He had heard these words before, back when his parents were telling him about his grandmother who was dying, and then his cousin who had gotten went away to a hospital in Texas and never came back. "Sam, 'so and so' is sick" were the words he knew didn't lead to anything good.

"What do you mean you're sick?" Sam asked slowly.

"Well," Rachel began, "you know how I've been so tired these past few months? How sore my arms and legs have been getting lately? How I got that bruise on my elbow from you just pulling me out of someone's way at the theater?"

"Yeah," Sam responded, "I'm guessing all of that shouldn't be happening."

Rachel nodded, "I have leukemia, Sam. I found out a couple days ago, and I've been trying to figure out how to tell you."

Sam's mouth hung open, his expression blank.

"Oh," he said.

She continued on, "I know how sudden this all is, I thought it was just a virus, or I was working myself too hard at school. But, the good news is I think that Dr. Graham said they caught it early on, so I should have a much bigger chance to beat it, to get better."

Sam stared at her, mouth still open, his full lips in a gigantic 'O'.

"I am aware that this kind of illness does only have about a 40% survival rate for the most part, but I don't see why I won't be able to get through this. Why we won't be able to get through this together if we just keep a positive attitude. That's what Dr. Graham said, a positive attitude is key, a vital part of the recovery process."

Sam continued to stare at her; Rachel couldn't read the expression in his eyes.

"Look, Sam, I know that this is asking a lot. And I understand if you don't think that, well if you're not sure if you'll be able to…I would not blame you at all for not wanting to stick around for this. I know you're already stressed out enough with law school, and I don't want to be another burden in your life."

Sam finally spoke up, "Rachel, I'm not going to abandon you. Do you really think that I would just leave you at, like, your biggest time of need? I love you. I can help take care of you, I want to be there for you."

For the first time in two days, Rachel's face broke out into a genuinely huge smile, a Rachel Berry smile.

"I'm glad, it's so great to hear you say that. Thank you so much, I love you so much," Rachel said as she grasped Sam's hand, intertwining their fingers.

Sam smiled, and with a "Get over here," he took Rachel into his arms and rested his chin on top of her head.

As Sam rubbed his hands up and down her back, Rachel finally felt relief seep through her body for the first time since she learned that she was sick. But she couldn't help the unsettling feeling she got from how quiet Sam was being.

He was probably still in shock, like she had been at first.

She lifted her head to look into his eyes, "Don't you have a law study group meeting thing you should be getting to?"

Sam kissed the top of her forehead, "It's ok, I think I can slack off every once in awhile. Let me just go call one of my group mates."

Rachel frowned as Sam untangled himself from their embrace, walking towards his bedroom.

"But, you have your phone in your hand already," she said looking confused.

She couldn't help but notice the way Sam's eyes widened the tiniest bit, like a deer caught in headlights.

Sam stuttered, "Oh yeah, I know I do..It's just-I just don't have his number programmed into my phone yet. I'll-I'll just give him a call in my room, since I have the paper in my room with his number on it. On my notes. Which are in my room, where I am going to go and give him a call."

Rachel's brow furrowed even deeper, but managed a small laugh "Um, okay, you go do that, Sam."

Sam's face softened, "Why don't you go take a look at my take out menus on the fridge, find something you wanna order for dinner. I think I read somewhere that they were having a back to back Julie Andrews showing on TCM tonight."

The idea of watching a double feature of _The Sound of Music_ and _Mary Poppins_ pepped Rachel right up, and Sam couldn't help but laugh at the sight of her scurrying over to the kitchen.


End file.
